I can say with certainty that just about every ADHDer I have met has had trouble keeping a calendar. They forget to put an important appointment in their calendar and then miss it. They start using one type of calendar and then stop using it because they don’t like it, and then don’t use one at all and try to remember when they have appointments. Which of course, doesn’t work for various reasons, including having working memory issues. This again leads to missed appointments. Often, a bright new shiny calendar is found, and the ADHDer will hyperfocus on that new calendar, thinking they have finally found “the one”, and then a few months later, the interest is gone and they’re back to square one. This can all have a detrimental effect on their personal worth, their relationships and even their jobs. The frustration can overtake them, leaving them with the question, “Will I ever get it together? Will I ever be able to take control of my schedule and finally use a calendar successfully?” The answer to that is coming. See below.
I keep 2 calendars. A handwritten one and a Google calendar. They are almost identical. Why do I keep both? For one, it helps if I can physically write something down. I’m a kinesthetic processor. The physical act of writing something down helps me remember. The Google calendar is shared with my husband, and he shares his calendar with me. This helps us to keep from asking each other what we have going on on any day. We often color code events that are for both of us together and those that involve important events that our kids are involved with. Our tasks are on our calendars; also color coded. If either of us needs to schedule an event, then, either of us can check our calendars and see if we are both open. Because our children are grown, we don’t have a calendar that has all of our kids’ activities. It’s much easier now that I don’t have to manage (mostly) their lives as well as my own. I also use Google calendar to add things in when I am out and about and don’t carry my larger physical calendar with me.
My physical, notebook sized calendar has a large monthly calendar as well as a weekly calendar where I can put tasks as well as more details about my specific appointments, etc. This works extremely well for me.
To answer the above question if you will ever be able to keep a calendar, the simple answer is yes, you will. There is a but, though. It takes work. And patience. You may find one that works for a while and then it doesn’t and you will need to find another one. You may find you’re wasting a lot of money if you’re looking for a physical calendar. Don’t have that kind of funds to throw away? Do research before you buy. Go to all the stores that have calendars. Have fun going down the rabbit hole of all the beautiful and unique calendars that are out there. Don’t want to take the time to physically go and look at each one? Then the internet has gobs of them. If you still don’t find one you like, you can also design your own. Again, there are tons of websites to give you ideas. The wonderful thing about making your own, is you can make it exactly how you want it. It can be pretty and colorful and full of fun stickers. This can can help keep your interest in using it. You might even consider decorating a boring store bought calendar to make it more personalized..
If you want to keep it as simple as possible, and feel that an online calendar will be good enough, then use Google calendar or use the calendar already on your phone which you can ask your phone verbally to set an appointment. There are all kinds of tools and options to use, including reminders, inviting others to join, adding colors for tasks and appointments, and even videoconferencing. YouTube has many videos to watch on how to optimally utilize Google calendar.
Setting up your calendar is probably going to be the easy part. The ongoing use though can be another thing all together, especially if you already have a history of falling off the calendar bandwagon. Here’s a few tools to help you maintain your calendar:
Every evening, review the following day’s schedule
Before you start your day, open your calendar to see what’s on tap for the day
Set a time at the end of every week (Friday, Saturday or Sunday) to review and add the following week’s schedule into your calendar.
When you do the above, review the following week’s appointments.
You may even want to put an appointment in your calendar every day to review your calendar. No, that’s not overkill. It’s just another tool to help you remember.
Don’t know where to start and feel that you don’t want to take a lot of time to find a calendar? Here’s a few that are ADHD favorites: (Remember that you don’t have to have ADHD to struggle with using a calendar. One of the following may work well for you too!)
The Happy Planner
Seeing My Time
Planner Pads
Bloom
Emergent Task Planner
Rocketbook
Live Rich Planner
Levenger
TREES weekly planner
Mom Agenda (My personal favorite when my kids were younger)
Next week I will discuss student planners and how to use a planner to help students schedule homework and assignments.
“Don’t wait, the time is never just right.” – Mark Twain
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